Turtle Hate

Turtle Hate

I thought the turtles in Firelands were bad. Nope! The Tortos ones are even worse. It took us forever the first time we got there to get him. Between the stalactites, the spinning turtles, and the earthquakes, it was a huge chaotic mess.

Biggest pressure point?


My effectiveness on this fight is practically zero. The majority of my time is spent marking turtles and assigning kickers at the right times. Leading and coordinating Tortos is a big nightmare and I start panicking whenever we get to him because I end up second guessing stuff throughout the fight. Thank goodness we 2 shot it the other night (our first wipe was due to an errant Hunter Barrage that went off when we were clearing bat trash, so it didn’t count as a one shot). It’s not always smooth sailing.

We’re now at week 4 and I’ve gotten a little more comfortable with it. The DPS has gone up leading to additional breathing room with turtles. The punters already know when to expect calls before I even make them and have started calling their turtles. But out of the encounters here so far, this is by far the most draining. I suppose it’s possible that I can eventually wean myself from marking turtles. Not quite there yet though because I’m concerned that two sets of turtle shells will go flying in and we miss out on a breath interrupt.

I hate turtles.

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About Matticus

Matticus is the founder of World of Matticus and Plus Heal. Read more of his columns at WoW Insider. League of Legends player. Caffeine enthusiast.


When we first walk into the Tortos room - "OMG, I LOVE TURTLES!  THIS BOSS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!!!!"

2 raid nights and 70+ wipes later - "Anyone else want to go down to the swamp and kill every turtle we see?"  "Sorry man, I can't, I'm heading to the local zoo to find those damn Galapagos turtle things!"

Seriously, I hate this boss!  I'm the "bat tank" (couldn't help it) and my life is just chaos.  And since there are a lot of moving parts to this fight a lot of communication is necessary, including my calls of when I have them rounded up and ready to be attacked, so sometimes my voice is drowned out and a DPS will get aggro from one of them and then get one-shot.... 

There's a little RNG in this fight and I hate fights like that.  If we can't learn a fight and know that we will have a fairly easy kill until we pull on heroic.... UGH!