Murphy’s 13 Laws of Raiding

Who exactly is Murphy and what are his laws? Regardless, I came up with this briefly last night before going to bed and I’m sure several of you can relate to it. Curse you, Murphy!

1: That heal that you casted on the tank at the last possible second will land but they will always die.
2: The item that you want will drop when you’re not there on the character that needs it.
3: When working on Teron Gorefiend, the player who has never done it before will always be chosen to do Gorefiend ghosts first.
4: If you have 2 Druids and a player dies, both Druids will use their battle res on the same person at the same time.
5: Key players will somehow be prevented from showing up on progression nights.
6: Dropping heals after activating trinkets will result in a 100% overheal because that nefarious Paladin managed to top him up before you did.
7: The new item you spent half your gold on in order to enchant and gem will be replaced within a week.
8: The word “oops” will always precede a spectacular wipe.
9: One person signalling a bio break will cause a chain reaction throughout the entire raid for the rest of them to use the bathroom.
10: When summer is here, odds are good that established raiding guilds will disband.
11: Rolling 100 will occur when you least expect it and will be used on items that you don’t really need or want.
12: Heroism will be used to kill a boss and you will still end up with having 30 seconds left over.
13: Spell procs kick in after the target’s already dead.

Would you add any others to this list?

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About Matticus

Matticus is the founder of World of Matticus and Plus Heal. Read more of his columns at WoW Insider. League of Legends player. Caffeine enthusiast.

Comments

  1. The night you have an “ideal” group to kill a new boss you won’t, but the night you have something workable you will, on the “one last try tonight and then we’ll call it”-th attempt of the night.

  2. If the item you have been dreaming of does drop, and you are present you will be out rolled/bid by either:
    a) Offspec
    b) Pug.
    Whichever gives you more pain at the time.

    gnomeaggedons last blog post..I’m a Hoarding Alliance.

  3. You’ll give up halfway through the raid trying to convince the Paladin to give you the right blessing. Enjoy your +attack power, priest!

    jpapciaks last blog post..I’m a Dick

  4. Clearcasting will always proc just as the boss dies.

    Mattouss last blog post..So long and thanks for all the fish

  5. a) The new recruit in your guild always seems to win critical loot rolls. In fact he wins all rolls all the time just before he packs up to join that ‘more progressed guild’.
    b) Guild drama comes after your first boss but before the last boss.
    c) Raid wide damage only occurs after at least 90% of all raid HoTs have expired.
    d) You remember to unequip your fishing pole only after your 2nd wipe
    d) When you need to click on anything of any kind of importance during a battle one of your addons will crash pasting a large error screen right over whatever you’re trying to click on.
    e) Your pet will wipe the raid through bad pathing.
    e2) you will be blamed for that
    e3) you will be reminded to put your pet on passive for the next 5 raids
    e4) people will all of a sudden decide your pet is annoying and you should get a new one
    f) someone forgot to do a ready check and the next pull starts while the healers are still afk.

    I could go on with this forever hehe

  6. The infernals will always drop right in front of the raid, unless you have no melee dps.

  7. Something important will happen while you are afk

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