11 Raid Finder Personalities You Will Never Escape

After running my alts through them numerously over the past two weeks, I think I’ve just about experienced every combination of player archetype that the raid finder had to offer. I wanted to post this as a guide for you to keep an eye out for them and conduct yourselves appropriately.

Raid Leader Randy

This is the guy who checks the “Raid Guide” icon when he queues up for the Raid Finder. He’s made a whole page of macros devoted to all of the encounters. Each macro spells out (briefly) the strategy being used to kill the boss. He also takes the time to mark targets or setup flares on the ground. Randy does his best to keep the 24 other strangers in the group in line and focused on the right direction. He’s got that personality where seemingly nothing is able to faze or rattle him. He just doesn’t give a crap because he has the ability to maintain a laser like focus on the prize: Boss kills.

CAPSLOCK CAROL

HER KEYBOARD WAS BROKEN AT AN EARLY AGE. DOESN’T MATTER SINCE SHE DOESN’T THINK IT’S RUDE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPITALS BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES IT’LL DRAW ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE’S TRYING TO COMMUNICATE. SHE’S ALSO KIND OF DENSE.

Carrying Chris

He’s the guy who is decked out in fall heroic raid quality gear. He just sneezes and stuff dies. He offsets the DPS from the bottom 4 players in the raid and manages to be the driving force which normalizes overall raid DPS. If the boss hits enrage and players are dropping one by one, you can count on Carrying Chris to get max range and activate reserves just before crushing the boss. (Thanks to Vashv17 for reminding me)

Lootwhore Larry

Out of all the players in the Raid Finder, Lootwhore Larry could very well be the worst. He need rolls on everything – even if it isn’t suited for him. I’m sure we’ve all come across him at some point. He could be the Warrior he rolls need on 1 handed Agility weapons. Or maybe the Rogue who opts for strength trinkets. Maybe he just doesn’t know or doesn’t give a crap. The only way to fight back against Lootwhore Larry yourself is to pray to the dice gods. Although, it is nice to see that this is being examined by Blizzard specifically.

Clueless Charlie

Poor Clueless Charlie. He just… doesn’t have a clue! Not only when it comes to bosses but when he gets picked on by the other members on the raid. He walks in, starts auto attacking and uses skills from time to time, but he doesn’t have the faintest idea what’s going on. He’ll attack another tentacle on Spine of Deathwing just because it’s dirty. He’ll stand there and take an Ice Wave before realizing that it’s bad. No matter how many times fights are explained, Charlie is just hopeless and is along for the ride. (Thanks to GottaHaveFaythe for this one)

Gogogo Gary

Gary’s gotta go! He’s on the clock and wants to pull everything! He’s always impatient and just wants to start trash pulls. Believes in maximum efficiency and not wasting time. Hates the players who are constantly AFK. Problem with Gary is that he’s a little too ambitious and ends up pulling two waves of Oozes in Yorsahj’s room or something. Whoops!

Elitist Ernie

Ernie frequently gets into raid chat fights with Recount Ryan. He’ll always mock the other player’s DPS or usage of cooldowns. “What’s that? You only used Ghost Wolves once? Well I used them twice!”. In the grand scheme of things, no one really cares. Ernie ends up being ignored because the rest of the raid is trying to concentrate on what Randy’s saying. Ernie tends to make a big deal out of 35 DPS. He’ll try to find a way to justify what he’s doing for either maximum DPS or maximum survivability. When pointed out that he does something wrong, he’ll try to find a way to reverse that as well.

Recount Ryan

Incidentally enough, Recount Ryan’s actual damage output drops on Ultraxion because he forgets to turn off Recount. Ryan is a fairly competitive sort. He’s always listing the top 5 damage done on everything. Yes, even on trash pulls. You see, poor Ryan is the youngest of 9 brothers and 6 sisters. He’s always been outshined in everything in life by the rest of his family. Mom doesn’t even remember who he is. So he seeks validation and affirmation in what he does by repeatedly linking meters so that someone out there might just say to him the two words he’s been hearing his whole life: “Good job”.

Tryhard Terry

This is the younger brother of Carrying Chris. He just doesn’t have that same level of gear. He idolizes him and tries so hard. He’ll interrupt the most redundant of abilities. He’ll always DPS the correct ad down (even if the other 20 players are on something else). Won’t have to worry about his cooldowns or anything as he’ll make sure they’re always being used. The trouble with Terry is that he is so focused on doing the right thing, that he sometimes might lose track of everything else going around him and tunnel vision. Because you see, Terry isn’t that great when it comes to adapting.

PvP Peter

Needs no introduction. Walks into raid finder wearing nothing but PvP gear (and still manages to out DPS certain raid geared players, but barely). Elitist Ernie will also pick a fight with Peter. But somehow, Peter just manages to destroy him anyway. Peter doesn’t really give a crap about what Ernie says. He’s also one of the few players that benefits from the implementation of the Raid Finder because he just doesn’t have the time to commit to actual raiding and prefers to PvP on his own time.

Pissing Contest Penelope

Penelope always has an opinion about something or some remark she likes to add. Even if the raid is going smoothly, she’ll find a way to bring it down. She’ll occasionally take a jibe at Raid Leader Randy even though he’s doing such a great job. Tends to be really snarky for no discernible reason. When Randy lays out a target order, Penelope is first in line to say “but my guild does it this way, and it’s way better” and tries to rally support from everyone else. It usually doesn’t end up working and she often gets placed on people’s ignore lists because they’re just tired of her being difficult to work with. She’d be much more enjoyable if she stopped giving Randy or other players a hard time and just stuck to playing.

Each of these players are unique in their own way. Together, this Raid Finder family manages to score boss kills against the most unlikeliest of odds. If you ever find yourself under any kind of abuse though, it’s best to just focus on your own responsibilities and don’t feed the trolls. The Raid Finder takes no more than 2 hours usually. If you want to get some upgrades and see some bosses, just grit your teeth and suck it up. You’ll be out of there in no time.

Error, no group ID set! Check your syntax!
About Matticus

Matticus is the founder of World of Matticus and Plus Heal. Read more of his columns at WoW Insider. League of Legends player. Caffeine enthusiast.

Comments

  1. I think i’m pretty much definitely the raid leader Randy fellow. I’m not rude or obnoxious about it I’m just there to get things done and people seem to flounder terribly otherwise if enough don’t know the mechanics.

    The other personalities are totally there though. Frightening how you can nail those down and capture the humor of all of them.

  2. The only thing I’ll say in defense of the PvP crowd – my PVP officer has helped us numerous times, from being there to make sure we can get a team together, to tanking. He’s tanked Firelands in full PVP gear. No one, not once, complained about it because he was not hard to keep alive, and tanked like a pro. In fact, he’s been OOG the last few weeks for IRL, and I keep getting tells from people asking when he’ll be back.

    The funny thing is, we dragged him into Firelands when the last raid he had seen was Molten Core (at level). And he tanked it just fine.

    If you know your class, you can do anything, including compensating for what your gear doesn’t provide for you. I wouldn’t just assume that someone in pvp gear can’t contribute to the success of a raid. Let them prove they can (or can’t).

    • There’s nothing inherently wrong with PvP players as long as they know their stuff. I’ve always been boggled by the binary descriptions being placed on people (You’re either PvE OR PvP, etc). WoW’s always been one of those games where you can do both and have the option to excel at them both, even. What irks me are the players just waltzing in with full PvP gear (and then outDPSing the players who aren’t in PvP gear).

      But then there was that blue post I read a few days ago where they’re trying to allow for a bit of crossover between PvE and PvP players into the opposite activity. I suppose th is allows those w ho predominantly PvP to come in, assist and appreciate the raiding side of things. Just a glimmer, even.

    • Was he a feral druid, perchance? The only weakness that feral PvP gear has in PvE is that it lacks a little bit of threat generation, so it’s actually not that bad for tanking these days.

  3. I think there is room for Tunnelvision Tony. He sounds a bit like Tryhard Terry but he only focusses on topping the meters with no regards to tactical execution or keeping himself alive. He doesn’t know or want to know about interrupts, because they don’t add to his DPS output. He’ll stay in the fire because the healers aren’t doing much anyway. And he’ll never agree to the catchphrase: “Dead dps doesn’t do dps” because he shouldn’t be dead, and even if he is, he should be target numero uno for the valuable Battle Rez. Probably somewhere in between Terry and Ryan 😉

    Nice list!

  4. I’d say I am about 40% Raid Leader Ryan, and 60% Carrying Chris. I have discovered that no matter how hard you carry, sometimes you just cant to it.

    As I usually queue with my guild mates, I find Carrying Chrises tend to come in packs. The smoothest raids are two packs of Chrises and no Pissing Contest Penelope.

  5. What about the guy who doesn’t realise you cant just keep doing the same bosses and rolling on loot?

  6. You forgot AFK Andy. Andy really, really prioritizes his “real life” before the game, to the extent that anything can distract him from the game, and the raid. Andy needs a sandwich? No worries, just /follow someone and go to the kitchen. Andy needs to go and buy the sandwich in question? No worries, good old /follow to the rescue. Andy found an interesting wikipedia page? No worries, my new raidmates will take care of the game thing while he is afk.

    Andy does not care much about anything, but he would not mind some free loot should it happend to fall on him.

    • AFK Andy also seems to be un-afk during loot rolls and for some damned reason always wins and drops group when he gets the item he was gunning for o.O

  7. I have a theory that Raid Leader Randy is secretly a Blizzard employee – how else would he/she be so patient and able to hold a group of 25 strangers together through 4 bosses?

  8. So which archetype are you, master matticus?

  9. I am a Raid Leader Randy… down to the macros.

  10. Wrong Spec Weston: Wrong-spec Weston proves Blizzard’s point that there really are bad choices that can be made. He didn’t really make a spec so much as he tried picking out what sounded pretty, or tried spreading all five points across a tier as evenly as possible. Tends to get called out by Pissing Contest Penelope, is made up for by Carrying Chris. (In Wrath, this would have also been One Tree Otto or Even Trees Edina)

    Got a Life Gabriel: Got a Life Gabriel could care less about your criticisms, no matter how constructive, because at least he has a life! He doesn’t have time to get his gear in order, or know his class, he clearly has more important things to do! Yet he stays in your raid, and nobody knows why.

    Optimistic Oliver: The antithesis to Pissing Contest Penelope, Optimistic Oliver is always one to believe that the group you have will certainly down the boss this try! Sure, it didn’t happen the last seven tries, but THIS time for sure! Raid Leader Randy’s best friend.

  11. Also Raidbot Ray, I’m waiting for next week when I join a raid and 80% of the raid is bots. It’s getting pretty damn bad and unfortunately is going to really screw up this cool feature.

    LOL I wonder what would happen if a it reaches 100%?

  12. Some more 🙂
    Insane Ian: off his meds, or took to many
    Ventrilo Von: player REQUIRING vent so everyone has to listen to his crap
    Chugging Charlie: guy trying to run WOW off his cellphone at work
    Smoking Steve: I’m soooooooo High
    Kicking Kenny: Person who has kicked almost everyone from the raid, even themself
    Brazilian Bob: kicken butt but can’t understand a damn thing he is saying and he is saying a TON
    Drunk Dave: I’m soooooo Drunk
    Jackass John: Reorgs the Raid putting everyone as MT and thinks its hilarious
    Political Paul: talks about anything other than WOW that everyone doesnt want to hear
    Flirting Fanny: I’m sooooooo Hot
    Negative Nick: calls for a wipe when one DPS falls
    Positive Pat: refuses to stop healing when only he and the tank are standing at 90%

    • I’m pretty sure there’s a Stoner Steve in every single collection of 25 random players.

      And Positive Pat can be incredibly annoying. Listen, I understand that you don’t like to give up, but we’re on Hagara, she’s at 60%, half the raid is dead, and all our battle rez’s have been spent. You CANNOT win, but you sure can waste 10 more minutes of everyone’s time.

    • “No! You got this! You totally got this! Keep it up guys – you can do it!! He’s down to 27.2M hp!! C’mon heals, you just keep that tank up and we WIN!”

      ummmm, that guy, right?

  13. Eater of Birds says:

    gogogo Gary was our tank the other night -.-

    Pulled (as suggested) double ooze packs…

    Then repulled again just 10 seconds after I mass rezzed everyone D:

    possible addition:
    Gold digger Gus – Rolls on a ligitimate piece of str plate (hes a paladin), then decides money would be better anyway so offers to sell it over /ra to the highest bidder. Hes swiftly booted out for being an asshat. (sadly, like some of the other negative personalities this one actually happened also -.-)

  14. Hivemind Harry. This was all I could come up with for the guild group that signs up for the raid finder and only needs four or five people. Sure, they’ll be nice to you while they are running, but their guild comes first. Someone needs gear? Everyone that can, roll on it and then trade when you get it. The randoms need gear? Screw ’em, we’re trying to get ready for real raiding.

  15. Can I be Passive Agressive Adam?

    I’m the main tank that’s partnered with the PVP-geared off-tank that just wants to get things done that takes his frustrations on whatever I can smack with my mace and/or shield.

    To quote Jeff Bridges from Tron Evolution: “you’re messin with my zen thing, man.”

  16. Silent Sam. He knows, or thinks he knows, all the fights and doesn’t care if the group’s strategy differs from his own. He just wants to keep his head low and get through the instance doing his own thing. If you ask him a question or try to assign him a task he will refuse to answer, even though you can see him jumping around and know that he’s at the keyboard. You can never tell if he will fill the assignment or not, so it’s probably better to just ask someone else to do it.

  17. I don’t really know what I am. I just push heal buttons. Mind you, I push them very, very well, but as far as raid politics go, I could care less. I’ve gotten Glad, and I have dozens of server first titles. Done it all, man, and I’m just there for the ride. I think using the RF is pretty calming. Gogogo Gary might have just pulled ALL of the oozes, and Carol is, well, yelling, but it matters little to me. As long as I’ve got my PoM/Riptide/Holy Shock/Swiftmend, everything will be okay.

    I prefer to stay out of it all. It isn’t that I don’t see the point, I just don’t have energy to partake in all the drama. Sure, I might carrying the horrible disc priest, but you won’t hear a comment from me about it. I explain fights or mechanics when asked, but otherwise I’ll be silent. I just want to heal. It doesn’t matter if I’m competing for r1 3s or wiping on Morchok; healing is my zen. Sure, both of our tanks might have just unsuccessfully tanked Ice Wave, but it will all be okay.

  18. Harried Hank the Tank: A good tank who has to deal with a hunter who loves AOE shots before his rage or throwing shield are ready, healers who back up into new groups of mobs, rouges who pull mobs and then run in the other direction from the tank, PVPs and Carrying Chris’s pulling aggro before Hank’s had the chance to build it up, and then he gets trashed talked as a bad tank and a noob if anyone take 1 hp of damage.

    Pristine Peter: A Dps who never takes damage and is vocally mad if the mob he pulls actually hurts him. blames tanks, yells at healers for spells, and calls everyone a noob.

  19. Oh man, I think every raid finder group I’ve been is was a combination of Clueless Charlies, Gogogo Garys and Elitist Ernies. Needless to say, it always makes for lots of wipes, even more kicks and constant arguments. I’m definitely a combination of Tryhard Terry and Capslock Carol ( when I’m drunk, oh yeah, capslock forever and a lot of rambling about absolutely nothing relevant.) I think it’s so funny that there are so many people on wow that fit into these categories.

    I also get A LOT of dps that ALWAYS want to blame the tanks or the healers. I swear the last group, we went through about 8 tanks because they kept kicking them. “Kick the tank! he sucks!, LEARN TO TAUNT STUPID!, Healers suck!” no, of course it’s not because you were standing in poop, or the fact that you pulled the wrong thing. Aye. XD I don’t know who that would be, I’ll call him Finger-pointing Paul. 🙂

  20. Dan the Dad – just wants to get his kid into the raid. Doesn’t matter if his kid sucks

    Flirtatious Farrah – she’s very flirtatious. Gets a lot of male attention. Probably is a 40 yr old dude or a fat chick

    Gina the Girlfriend – she’s only in the raid because her boyfriend convinced her to give up saturday night to WOW

  21. As long as we’re on it:

    Elitist Jon: He’s a hardcore raider. Got it all down in the real version; Shut it and listen! So we’re gonna do it this way. There’s this add right, and it’s gonna do A, B, C. And then we go pewpew, and it ‘ll die. And then there’s this other add, right, and this add needs nine of them, wossname, buffs, before it explodes, yes, explodes, and then there’s this other guy, add, right, and he’s… Blalbal.

    bla.
    bla.
    Okay, you got it? Let’s hit it! [pulls]


    Incidentally, i like the got A life Gabriel. My “old” guild was already 50% gabriel, and it’s become 90% gabriel now. It’s annoying to hell. “Say, why have you got a pvp talent?” Doesn’t matter, nerd, i got a life. Why aren’t you stacking up with the rest of us? “I was having fun with the people i like, stfu nerd”.

  22. Great post! Def spot on!

    I found that LFR people really irritated the snot out of me the first week, and then I somehow miraculously managed to detach myself and kind of block everyone else out every time I q up now, with the exception of calling out brief instructions if needed in /say for Spine or Madness. The key for me is to go in not really expecting to ever win anything and focus on my job, and all is well. 🙂

  23. What about Disconnecting David

    Always disconnects just as the raid starts but still manages to log back in time to roll for the loot

Trackbacks

  1. […] 11 Raid Finder Personalities You Will Never Escape […]

  2. […] TOTALLY forgot to put Matticus' "11 Raid Finder Personalities You Will Never Escape" in the first Weekly WoW Roundup. It is quite the entertaining read. That omission was an error on […]

Speak Your Mind

*