Five Misconceptions About Healers

Sometimes there is nothing more frustrating in a raid than watching your raid wipe. I feel that the only thing more frustrating than the wipe itself, is watching the healers get blamed right away. As a raid officer and healing lead seldom do I let things really truly get under my skin. But when I see a wipe and I hear the question in vent

“healers, what happened there?”

It raises my ire. I understand that healing is something that quickly comes under the analytical scope when an encounter fails. But when you have someone assigned to lead the healers it’s their job to find out what happened, and on the off chance they do find something wrong it is their job to address and resolve the issue. When a tank or dps starts berating healers about what happened it gets on everyone’s nerves. We’re going to use the term Healer Rage here. Healer rage can take many forms, quiet determination, outright aggression, passive aggressive behavior (such as “missing” a heal on a target) all the way up to outright quitting. You might remember my first post here on World of Matticus where I talked about the 5 Archetypes of the Healer. I broke down what makes a person choose to be a healer in a game like World of Warcraft. Each of those healers are still around and kicking and always will be.

Today I’m going to talk about some general misconceptions about healers, as well as what triggers Healer Rage and how different healers deal with it.

5. All healers are created equal

There are a lot of people who seem to think you can equally exchange Healer A for Healer B and see no difference in the performance of the raid as a whole. I’m not talking classes here, purely about the player. This might seem like it doesn’t happen but it does, and quite frequently.

“Why not bring Dude B, he’s just as good as Dude A?”

Now I’m not trying to be elitist and talk about difference in skill, but the truth is we all have our strengths. Some healers are better at tank healing, they understand it better. Others are better topping off a raid. Some know the intricacies of a short burst fight and intensive healing, while others still are built for longevity fights. We all have our specialties our niche. The idea that you can take any healer and slap them anywhere and get the same performance is not a good one to have.

Why this causes Healer Rage

Dude B is a tank healer, he revels in it. It is his specialty without question. Dude A is a raid healer, he knows the in and out of everything there is to know about keeping the raid at peak health. Raid officer decides to switch their assignments. Dude A is now on tanks and Dude B is healing the raid. When you take a healer out of a comfort zone it is akin to dumping a bucket of cold water on a sleeping person. While some people can handle a shifting role like that, we all tend to have our preferences. Moving  us from those preferences tends to make us just a tad bit grumpy.

4. All healing capable classes are built equal

Some people think that all classes are equitable. What I mean is that a Resto Shaman is the same as a Holy Paladin as a Resto Druid as a Priest. Lets be honest, while this has become closer to the truth over the many years that we’ve been playing this game, it is still a ways off. Sure my Shaman is capable of healing a single target quite well, But an equally geared Discipline Priest or a Holy Pally will beat me every time and vice-versa for raid healing. Sure you can stick them in that roll, but results might not be optimal. This is considering the merits of the classes and talents without accounting for player skill.

Why this causes Healer Rage

Just like above, when you take someone out of their safe spot people’s nerves are on edge and performance can often times suffer. Over the years I’ve come to realize as healers, we tend to like our niche. When Shaman were usurped as the kings of raid healing, there was quite a loud outcry on the forums and through the WoW universe. This is very much the same as the reasoning behind the rage of number 5. I’ve also noticed in both 5, and 4 here that healers thrust out of their comfort zone tend to be quieter and deal with their rage about it more internally.

3. Healing is Easy!

There are some people out there who feel that healing is the easiest job in the game. I’ll be honest, there was a point where I felt that way. That was when I was playing a hunter in 40 man raids and before I had ever touched the healing side of a Shaman. Nothing could be further from the truth. Healing is one of the most stressful aspects of the game. You are responsible to heal any damage taken in a raid, people look at you to stave off that wipe or to keep them up no matter what, because they think all you do is sit there and spam a few buttons.

Why this causes Healer Rage

Healing can be one of the most challenging roles in the game! Not only do we have to effectively manage our own resources such as mana our own health and consumables, but we also have the privilege of playing broker with yo ur health totals! What people often don’t realize is that as a healer we often have to play triage. Prioritizing heals is more than just making sure the tank is topped off and then spilling over into your group or raid. We have to decide sometimes who lives and who dies! That is a heavy burden and one that we often times have to make as snap decisions. When a healer gets criticized for this, it’s not exactly fair, and can cause not only rage but an added level of stress. This is normally when you’ll find healers raging openly either through comments or possibly even over voice.

2. A healer has to carry those who are under-geared / unprepared

While a healer is capable of carrying an under geared tank or healing through a certain amount of damage from players not moving fast enough out of area damage, it should not be expected of us. There seems to be a large amount of players that believe a healer is obligated to heal the tank that isn’t even trying to mitigate their damage or are woefully under geared for the content. Some people think it is OK for them to stand in the middle of a raging fire on the floor because the healer will heal them through it. You may think I’m making this up, but I’ve seen enough dps actually do this and then when asked about why they would say “because the healer has to heal me!”. This also holds true for people who don’t know the mechanics of a fight, yet insist to pull and bring much unnecessary damage on themselves.

Why this causes Healer Rage

Much for the same reason as number 3. Healing is already challenging enough in some cases. Doing things that while funny, are disruptive and unnecessary can really alienate you from your healer. Tanks don’t randomly go into your dps spec and pull the groups in HoR, it just isn’t happening. If you’re a dps and you’re purposely standing in Rotfaces’s slime quadrant just to get your extra couple hits in, that’s completely unnecessary and honestly it’s rude. It is every raid members job to mitigate as much damage as they can, you can’t rely solely on the healers. Eventually you’ll get healers that will respond to this but ceasing to heal you, or openly being aggressive about your actions.

1. Whenever there is a wipe, blame healers first

There is this mentality that every time there is a wipe, you need to yell at or blame the healers first. After all it’s their job to heal you through anything right? (see number 2.) There are few things more frustrating than seeing the group wipe and to hear someone immediately ask “so what happened there healers?”. What boggles my mind is when this happens despite things like mortuary, big brother, raid buff system or several other mods that people may use that announce who dies and to what. We’ll use one of the new ICC trash mobs for an example, Stinky. Stinky and it’s twin Precious are the pets of Festergut and Rotface. They are also mini bosses very much like the trash pulls leading up to the Twin Emps were back in AQ40. Each has an unique ability, but in Stinky’s case I’ve seen this mini boss / trash pull wipe more groups than some of the bosses! Stinky has three abilities

Decimate: aoe that knocks everyone to 15% health
Mortal Wound: 10% reduced healing done to you stacks up to 100%, placed on tanks
Plague Stench: raid wide aoe that ticks for about 3k every 2-3 seconds

He’s pretty much setup to really mess with healers. If you get an ill timed Decimate followed by a quick Plague Stench it is possible to have multiple people in the raid die in one stroke. Every time I’ve seen a group wipe on it, the first thing I hear asked is why the healers didn’t heal through it. Sometimes I’ve seen it expected of healers to time their group heals perfectly to go off when decimate does! I’m not saying healers shouldn’t be prepared for it, but latency spikes and lag can cause heals to not exactly be spot on, and that should be kept in mind.

Why this causes healer rage

When a boss goes down smoothly you almost never hear anyone say; “That was awesome! Great job healers! That was all you!”, but when a wipe happens you will hear the phrase “what happened healers?” way too often. Not everything is within a healers control. Sometimes things happen that stretch our abilities so thin there is no recovery. Random mob abilities chaining together can cause a group to wipe before a healer even has a chance to react. When someone places this burden on the healers, it’s a short trip to off the rage deep end. Healers are already shouldering enough weight in a run, keeping a group topped off, playing healer triage and managing our resources to keep the group going. Looking at the healers after every wipe can cause healers to snap. I’ve seen healers rage quit raids, I’ve seen them rage quit guilds, I’ve seen them completely stop healing on the next pull just to watch the person who blamed the wipe on them die. I’ve heard stories of even worse events that have gone as far as an entire healing team leaving a guild in one swoop, leaving a raiding guild effectively healer-less.

Healers carry large burdens in a raid or group. Sure sometimes we might make comments about something being so easy because a tank out-gears an instance, but those are welcome breaks. We are not omniscient,we are not gods, we are not capable of predicting what is going to happen and when. We are just playing our role in a group, doing what we can to make things go smoothly. Remember, our job is a stressful one and one vital to the raid. Trust in your healing leads if you have one to make sure healers are doing what they need to be, and trust your healers a bit. Basically cut us a little slack, it’s often times a thankless job.

That’s it for today, until next time folks Happy Healing

 

Images courtesy of Icanhazcheesburger.com and staples

Case Study: How Conquest’s Healers Were Recruited

On Saturday, I wrote a brief highlight on how not to recruit healers. The actual post was written by Ess. Reader Spinks posted a comment wondering how I recruited my healers.

In truth, recruiting healers involved higher standards and scrutiny. This was only because I’m way more critical with healing. It’s difficult to explain. Maybe it’s because I know what I want in a healer.

I’ll start with the longest serving healers and work my way up.

Sthirteen

I’ve served with S13 in my last guild. He was there when we worked on Illidan and onto Kil’Jaden. Even though he’s only played for a little over a year, he’s come a long way from the Druid who played all the way up to level 10 without realizing he could equip gear. His signing was a no brainer. I’ve known him for many years and Resto Druids aren’t exactly a common commodity on my server.

Sydera

Syd was a transfer. She was one of the founding mothers of Conquest. If she hadn’t come to me, Conquest might have still been just a dream. Her case is a unique one. She was on a different server. There was no way I could gauge her play without directly observing. A lot of it was based on inference. It certainly helped that she turned out to be a great Druid blogger. Reading her posts showed me that she knew what she was doing even though I had no way of seeing it for myself. Her previous guild managed to kill Illidan prepatch which added extra credibility.

Kaldora

I didn’t know Kaldora that well. I’ve played with him several times in other raids. One day he decided to leave his previous guild and sign with Conquest for a more focused raiding experience. I knew from the times I’ve played with him before that he knew what he was doing. He took advice and critique really well. Quick learners is a big must for my healers.

Epiks

I don’t know what it is about Resto Shamans. But they’re always hyped up on something. Epiks actually came to me in trade chat. I didn’t know about him before so I had very little to go on. Like Kaldora, he wanted a change of scenery. I had nothing to go by other than his present gear and the reputation of his old guild. I knew how progressed his old guild was and I could tell by some of the 70 gear he still had Epiks was a part of the team that helped his old guild get to where they were before Wrath. That was a testament to his perseverance and his abilities. Even though those were all good marks, I still didn’t know enough about him as a player. A Naxxramas and Obsidian Sanctum run later, his position was virtually cemented in the ranks.

Krinan

I took a chance on her and she took a chance on my guild. Krinan’s journey into the guild revolved around Twitter (and she has a post up on that very subject). Her pickup was a great risk moreso for her then myself. She was willing to take a chance on an unproven guild with an unproven GM. In most cases, that would have been a recipe for disaster. I’m proud to say she’s still in after 4 months. I think what did it for me was her willingness to give this organization a chance and her ability to learn quickly.

Notice that gear didn’t play a significant factor in the signings of these players. In Epiks’ case, his 70 epics from BT and the like demonstrated to me that he could hold his own. But not a single one of these players entered the guild and leveled to 80 with more then a handful of blues and greens.

These are players I know and count on to hold down the fort and they’ve done an admirable job of doing it.

photo © David Martín :: Suki_ :: for openphoto.net CC:Attribution-ShareAlike

Recruiting Healers is Like Picking Up Women (and a WoW Blogger’s challenge)

I don’t get as much time to check out my feedreader as much as I like. But every once in a while, when I have time, I’ll pop open Google Reader. Sometimes I’ll see a post title that catches my eye which makes me zero in on it.

Ess wrote an eyebrow raising post about how not to recruit healers.

Here’s one of the points Ess offers:

2. Whisper them every time they log in.

So, this person that has been whispering me the second that I log in has been doing this for the past several days. Really… is it necessary to whisper me every single day? I have gotten the picture — I know they want me to join their guild. I’m always polite about the recruiting part, and tell them I appreciate it, but remind them that I plan to stay with my guild. (Are they hoping to wear me down?)

Also, they’re usually asking me to heal something at that moment for them. Because they ask me every day, I find myself much less inclined to run with them. I don’t want to do anything to encourage this behavior. If you were hoping to build a relationship with someone, would you really call them every single night and ask them to do something? Hopefully not. It sends bad signals, suggesting that you are high maintenance. This is a definite turn off. It makes me wish there were some sort of invisibility setting so they couldn’t see me when I logged in.

I can’t say I’ve ever experienced this stalking behavior. I’d get a lot of additions onto friends lists and I do get my share of messages when I do log on. But it hasn’t happened as much since the debut of expansion. Maybe the tanks or DPS just got tired of waiting for me to say yes and moved onto other healers instead. That’s okay. I prefer to test the waters anyway.

I gotta say, I really like Ess’s style and post here.

In the spirit of single’s awareness Valentine’s day coming up in a little under a week, I’m issuing a challenge to WoW bloggers to write a valentine’s themed post. Here’s a few post ideas and themes that you’re welcome to use. By all means, feel free to come up with your own! I’ll feature a few pieces that caught my eye next week (if I have any takers). I think I found my sweet spot. I should come out to Waves more often. London Fog seems to be the fuel for my blogging engine.

The GM’s just not that into you: Recognizing the Signs
Azeroth’s romantic getaways (Booty Bay takes on a whole new meaning)
Getting noticed by the guild of your dreams
Telling your ex-spec that you’ve moved on

How to Recruit a New Healer in 10 Easy Steps

This is Sydera’s SYTYCB week 2 entry.

It’s 9:00 p.m. on a Sunday night, and where’s your resto shaman? Oh right, he’s taking three months off raiding to spend time with his new girlfriend, and you need that tremor totem for Vashj right now. What do you do? If you follow these ten easy steps, you’ll be seeing the beautiful banana beams of Brain Heal again in no time.

Call me crazy, but I like doing guild recruiting. So far, I have recruited ten total strangers for my guild, Collateral Damage of Vek’nilash, and eight of these new members have become great friends and guildmates. As for the other two, well–you the readers will have the opportunity to learn from my mistakes. How do you tell the truly awesome players who will someday invite you to their house for homemade ravioli from the habitual guild hoppers? This simple list will help you navigate the chaos.

1. Look early and often

Guild turnover is a constant surprise, and you will never be able to predict exactly when you’ll be short-handed. If you’re not recruiting, your guild is shrinking. If you have specific needs, allow a month or so to find just the right player.

Over time, I have observed that my best recruits were rarely those that fit my narrow search criteria. When I tried to recruit a resto shaman, all I found were two wonderful holy priests. Jesmin and Fortitius have since become cornerstones of the healing corps, and as a side note, they’ve both invited me over for dinner! If you find an exceptional player, don’t ever miss out.

2. Build up your guild’s reputation

A guild’s recruitment officer is also its public relations specialist. Start participating in your realm forums–you’d be surprised just how much goodwill you can generate with some friendly, respectful posts. Potential recruits may be reading, so don’t act like a jerk unless that’s the attitude your guild is going for!

3. Search creatively

Almost all recruiters post both on their realm forums and on Guild Recruitment. Those two search options are no-brainers, but there are other tools out there to help you. I use www.wowlemmings.com to sort through the posts on the official forums, and I always write to WoWInsider’s Guild Watch column when I post a new opening. In addition, community sites like PlusHeal or TankSpot often have a recruitment forum. Try to reach the widest possible audience.

4. Write an advertisement with personality

Your advertisement should be both expressive and informative. These two examples, both from Sunwell guilds, show how an ad can reflect a guild’s general attitude.

Sample Ad #1: Relaxed and uncensored Casual	Sample Ad #2: Businesslike and respectful Lunacy
“Mostly our raid vent and guild chat is used to discuss non-WoW related things such as affairs with married women, getting your girlfriend pregnant, binge drinking, and other topics. We are looking for highly skilled players that have a good sense of humor, want to progress, and won’t burn out or quit the first time they get to second base with a girl.”	“We like to keep a calm and collected raid with leaders who don’t yell at their raiders at every turn, while still managing to be successful. We’ve recently cleared all of Sunwell. We are 6/6. But that doesn’t mean we plan to cease raiding. =)”
I like the irony that <Casual> uses in their description, but as much as I might admire their writing style, I know right away that they’re way too macho for me!	The second guild, <Lunacy>, uses a serious tone for their ad, which tells me that they are more hardcore than the first guild. The smiley, however, softens the ad a bit and gives it some humanity. Even though Casual’s ad is more creative, Lunacy’s ad would attract a more reserved player like me.

To sum up: write an ad that appeals to the kind of player you want.

5. Prepare a thoughtful application

Most guilds use an application template. Search around, find one you like, and adapt it to suit your guild’s needs. Provide a link to the application on your guild website, and make sure the instructions for posting are easy to follow. Include at least one question that lets your applicants show who they really are. Collateral Damage asks applicants to tell us a joke. This question is an idiot check, and anything that’s not obscene will work for us. Extra points are awarded for silly–we’re more likely to invite players whose sense of humor matches ours.

6. Know your competition

Find out which guilds on your server are similar to yours, and lurk in their forums if you can. If they are currently recruiting, you should know about it! If you admire something about their organization or application procedure, imitate it! If you get applicants that don’t suit your guild, refer them to the kind of guild they want. In addition, talk to other guilds’ recruitment officers and share information–you may learn some useful gossip.

7. Research your candidates

Inviting new members into your guild is like welcoming strangers into your home. Trust is important–after all, you don’t want them to leave with the silverware in their pockets! In addition to scrutinizing someone’s gear and reputation through the Armory, you can look up his guild history at www.warcraftrealms.com/charhistory.php. You’re checking for one of two warning signs: a list of guilds a mile long, or no list at all. A player with a short record has very likely changed names, which goes right along with guild- and server-hopping.

Remember–if you do the research, you have to use what you learn. Both of my failures in recruiting came from giving a player the benefit of the doubt. When you recruit, go with your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

8. Contact your prospects personally

One of my recruits, Thunm, told me that he chose my guild because one of our officers took the time to go to his server and talk to him one-on-one. When you see a promising post on the forums, make a personal reply, and follow that up with an in-game contact. Chat over vent, and let your prospects ask questions–they will want to check you out as well.

9. Make a good offer

When you invite a new guild member, do so in good faith. Try not to recruit positions that involve lots of bench time or poor prospects for loot. In short, make the kind of offer YOU would want to accept. I see many guilds make the mistake of thinking only about progression or about their longtime members–remember to make your new guild member feel welcome.

10. Follow up!

Congratulations! Your guild has a new healer, and you are the person she knows best. Serve as her mentor, and check in with her often. If the guild isn’t happy with your recruit’s performance, be the one to explain why. If it seems that the guild is a good fit, be her champion when the officers vote on whether she should be promoted to full member.

Always remember: Be honest, both with yourself and with any applicants you talk to.

The more you know about your guild’s personality and style, the better you can describe it to your potential recruits. You don’t want to be one of those lolguilds that advertises in general chat with really original lines like: We haz guild bank and taberdz, pst for invite!

And most of all, don’t panic! The right person for your guild is always out there.

Sydera

Assigning Healing Strategy – Part 3: The Pivot Healer

Welcome to the third in a 5 part series here on World of Matticus. For the next several weeks, I’ll be covering the rare topic of assigning raid heals. No one really wants to do it but it’s the most important job in the raid and I’ll provide a basic overview of the process and some advanced tips!

In case you missed it:

1. Week 1: Recognizing Class Strengths
2. Week 2: Double Shifting Your Healers

Last week, I discussed the concept of double shifting your healers. I instructed that it is possible to assign one person to look after more than 2 people simultaneously. This week, I’m going to discuss the pivot healer.

What is the pivot healer?

Simply put, pivot healers are single target healers that switch between two or more assignments. It’s a technique to make life a little easier for your healing lead. It’s a way to minimize idle healers and recycle them.

A case study

Still unsure of what I’m referring to? Let me give you an example.

The first dual phase fight that comes to my mind is that of Leotheras. There are two main tanks required for the encounter and they alternate themselves depending on what phase Leo is. If Leo is a demon, the Warlock tanks him. If Leo is in his Elf form, he get’s controlled by a standard tank.

In true Matticus-like fashion, I’ll park 2 Paladins and a Priest on the main tank during Elf mode. Once phase 2 hits and Leo turns super saiyan, the same 2 Paladins and Priest immediately pivot over to the Warlock tank. At this point in time, the main tank is no longer taking the brunt of the damage so the healers that were on them can be rotated off of them.

And that’s today’s lecture! Hopefully the really cheesy graphic above can help illustrate what I’m trying to say. Remember they switch targets after a phase is over and look after whoever is holding the attention of the boss!

Would You be Interested in an all Healer Community?

EDIT: Nevermind! It’s been brought to my attention that there *is* in fact an all healer community in existence that’s been around under my nose for the longest time. Light Natured forums appear at first glance to be what I’ve been looking for. The community forum’s been broken down by class and has some extra sections devoted to general discussion and UI’s and such. How I’ve never found this place, I will have no idea. Obviously I didn’t look hard enough =). They need to do a better marketing and promotion job. I guess I’ll have to flex my blogging and WoW Insider muscle and raise some awareness. I do seem to be suffering some performance issues on the forums. They do take a while to get into the different sub sections.

This is one of the few pleasures I get from blogging. My interaction with readers sparks ideas. Sometimes they’re bad, sometimes they’re good, and sometimes I come up with a “EUREKA” of an idea that would’ve done Archimonde Archimedes proud.

Tonight I had a discussion with neutralise as we were discussing the impact of a raid wide Prayer of Healing. Somehow, my brain went off on a tangent. I wondered if there was a community or forum specifically devoted to Holy Priests who would discuss their trade (similar akin to the Shadow Priest.com forums). After some quick searching, Twittering, and general asking around, I was amazed to discover that there wasn’t a community already in place.

Not only that, there doesn’t seem to be places for Resto Druids, Holy Paladins, or Resto Shamans specifically either.

The only place that I know of that represents anything close is the Elitist Jerks forums. I’m not going to lie. Every time I go there, I feel fairly intimidated. There’s also a lot of information to wade through to get an answer you’re looking for.

My vision

Seeing as there doesn’t seem be a local healer community, I thought to myself why not start a healer community?

Financing is not a problem. One of the reasons I run affiliate advertising on my blog is so that I can take what I earn and invest it directly back into the community. Heh, like it or not, money makes this world go round.

I’m picturing a discussion board where healers of all shapes, sizes and progression levels can:

• Exchange ideas and tips amongst individual classes
• Ask for help and advice during PvE content
• Discuss upcoming healer changes
• Interact with other healers overall
• Come for early advice and support on getting started with end game

I’d handle the maintenance and logistics of the project myself including hosting, software and such. The design and structure would be an interesting challenge to undergo.

My obstacles

Moderation - It’s a no brainer that a community like this would most likely attract some big time morons. As much as I’d like to, there’s not a chance in hell that I’d be able to completely police the place. I’d have to realistically turn to volunteers that have proven themselves fair and in possession of a back bone.

Structure - Organization of this community would have to be done properly. Like boss fights, it’s one thing to know what to do. It all comes down to execution. If I can pull it off right, I have no doubt it would be a great community. Done incorrectly, and it would just be another failed startup project. Razorbax suggested a Forum/Wiki combination but I have my reservations about that. I could go forums first and then “immortalize” epic posts after into its own Wiki for easier navigation and access.

By the way, that quote Razorbax listed? Not me.

I swear.

Name – You guys might think this is silly, but the name is important. I don’t simply want to create forums and slap World of Matticus forums on it. A day might come where I won’t be around and it’d be nice for this community to be able to stand on its own. I’d sponsor and support it, but it should have a distinct brand of its own. The challenge here is to think of a name that’s catchy, easy to remember, and isn’t already registered on the WHOIS database.

Interest – But right now, I’m getting ahead of myself. What’s the point of establishing a community if there’s no one interested in it? I ran it by the night owls still awake in BA chat, and they seemed receptive and encouraging of the idea. Still, I’d rather ask you the community in general and get your thoughts.

Any ideas, feedback, questions, or comments would be welcome. But do answer the poll first below =).

11 Excuses: How to Tell the Real Life Professions of Your Healers

The people that play World of Warcraft come from all manner of job backgrounds and disciplines. Many of us are students. Some of us work in the office. No doubt there are players who come from military backgrounds. But did you know you can tell what kind of job your healer has when you put him on the spot? It’s true! It might not be relevant, but you might find it interesting to know what supports the fix of the WoW playing healer! I guarantee you that someone out there has uttered these words*!

*Note: Not a real guarantee.

Lawyer

"Do you have any evidence with which to base your claim on that it was, in fact, my lack of heals that cause my client, this tank, to lose health and subsequently die?"

Politician

"Think of the big picture. Our cause is just. I believe we have to stay the course. There is a concept known as acceptable casualties. The loss of a tank, in this case, certainly falls under that. As long as we complete our mission, then everything is perfectly alright."

Forensics

"Judging by the position of the tank relative to me and taking into account the time of death, I do not believe that I was the cause of the death of this player. I was within 40 yards and the heals were coming out. There is no logical reason as to why I let him die."

Doctor

"We don’t know what his cause of death is just yet. Blame cannot be issued until we establish how the player died. Pull up WoW Web Stats. I want combat logs of the last 5 players who interacted with the dead player."

Coach

"Let’s see the replay tapes again. I want a play by play break down. If you watch it, it helps prove that his dying had nothing to do with me at all!"

Accountant

"The numbers don’t properly add up. My heals more than made up the difference between that and the damage taken."

Psychic

"Your death was foretold. I was merely allowing the prophecy to come to pass."

Teacher

"You did not follow proper tanking instructions. You get an F in tanking. "

Marketing

"It’s a terrible tragedy that you died in a raid. This is an excellent example of why you should buy my Flask of Fortification! It boosts your stamina by 30! More stamina means you live longer, right? With the right mix of herbs and a small fee of, you can have 500 additional health and higher defense rating! If you act now, I’ll even throw in a free Spicy Crawdad! Limited time only, act now!"

Mafia

"3000 gold and half a dozen Crimson Spinels says that I didn’t cause the raid to wipe. Capice?"

Computer Technician

"Go restart your computer. That will solve most problems 99% of the time including tank deaths. There is no reason to blame anybody."

On a completely different note, there appear to be no photos of psychics anywhere.

Healers Spill: White Lies we Tell Tanks All the Time

Photo courtesy of duhcoolies (SXC)

Wiping sucks. It’s going to happen to any Guild of any size at any point. But there are good wipes and then there are bad wipes. I’ve caused my share of bad wipes (but not in my current Guild, obviously, because I know some of them read my blog). Tanks are delicate creatures and have to be treated in a certain way. Even though some tanks might be shall we say aggro challenged, it is better if we merely nod and admit fault even though it isn’t really ours so that the run can be finished. I’ve seen tanks get emo when their ability is questioned and leave the group hanging. Then the group spends a good hour in LFG trying to find a tank to finish out Heroic Slave Pens. Sheesh!

Anyways, I know I’m safe because I don’t think a lot of tanks read my blog (I think).

“Sorry, lag”

It happens sometimes. Our connections do hiccup and we go offline. As healers, we often blame our ISP. Every so often, it isn’t the ISPs fault. You see, there’s this new file sharing technology called bittorrent that we as healers might have forgotten to turn off…

“It’s not you, it’s me”

The tank happens to take about 18000 damage within a space of 2 seconds. There’s nothing we can do about it. 2 seconds is enough time for 1 spell. Sometimes we just can’t keep up with the damage with 1 healer. You just absorb so much punishment that you NEED 2 extra bodies to keep you alive and going. There’s no way around it. On the other hand, maybe I forgot to use my max rank heals.

“It happens to a lot of tanks”

Tanks are used to dying you say? Well, yeah. All tanks are used to it. They’ve died many times and they’ve got the durability loss to prove it. So what if you died? It’s no big deal. Nos Staminitus is a common affliction that affects many tanks. But don’t worry, there’s a special cure. There’s tons of consumables in the markets designed to help get you up. Er, your health that that is.

“Oh your gear is fine”

You look great! Honest! Even though you can’t seem to withstand several crits or crushings in a row, at least your armor is all shiny and stuff! I guess I’ll have to actually work up a sweat to keep you alive.

“You’re the best tank ever!”

I’ve had to say this on more then one occasion. I swear, some tanks seem to have the largest egos in the world. I guess it’s because they’re needed so often. There are some players in the world who have top end gear and top end weapons. But holy cow they just can’t seem to deliver! And I’m not talking about Taurens, either!

Have you ever lied to your tank? Or even your raid/party? Why and what was the situation?

Special thanks to Trackhoof and others who requested to remain anonymous for their input

Top Comments this Week: DPS CC, Heal Organizer, and Fitness Tips for WoW

Sometimes I wonder why I bother writing a blog. Looking at some of these comments over the past several days reminded me that there’s always someone WAY more brilliant then you are. Why they don’t have a blog of their own, I have no idea. I doubt a good number of you even read comments (or know that they exist) so I’ve decided to share a couple of them with you.

That and I have an exam in a few hours so this is my cop out post of the month >:).

Noplace like Gnome (Best gname of the year, IMO) said in Minimum Requirements for Karazhan:

The reason why folks are talking about ret pallys, or arms warriors, or demon locks, etc. is because they are most interested in PvP or solo-ing than being with a group. Seriously.

A ret pally or arms warrior is not going to touch the DPS numbers of a similiarly geared mage, rogue, or lock. But the second part of DPS is CC. Whenever I’m looking for a group to hit heroics/raid- I look for real healer (holy priest/holy pally/resto druid), a real tank (prot warrior/prot pally/feral druid), and the rest DPS and CC. Notice the ‘and’.

If you are just a DPS, then that slot could be used for someone that does the same damage you do, plus can take a mob out of the picture. As long as there are two CC folks in the group, its great having them. Less than that, they become a liability. The healer has to then heal THREE off tanks, and that usually spells disaster.

I have a holy priest and a afflock. I picked these specs so that I can help out whatever group I’m in. And my play style has always been for whatever is best for the group. I’ll give up my big dam curse (CoA) and suffer the DPS loss- if my Malediction buffed Curse of Elements or Shadow means more DPS overall by debuffing for others. Sometimes that person picking who goes on the raid is looking at what else you bring to the party.

Birkin said in Healers: Simplify Your Tank Targets:

I am the healing leader for our raids and I have been doing something similar for quite some time now. We are just now making the 25 man transition, so I don’t have any SSC/TK experience, but we’ve been farming kara for the past 4 months and have been working our way through ZA.

There are two specific examples that come to mind: Netherspite and Nalorakk. On Netherspite, it is a lot easier to assign healers to “Red Beam” and “Blue Beam” duty, then assign them to heal Tank 1 and Tank 2 (depending on who is tanking) and heal Warlock A and SPriest B (depending on the Blue Beam extra damage soaker). This way, it also promotes raid awareness and your healers are paying attention to what is going on around them. They will need to pay attention to see where these beams spawn and which person is going to be in them. The other example is for the Bear boss in ZA (simpler version). This one isn’t very hard to figure out, but you need some serious heals on Nalorakk and 1 healer per tank won’t cut it. So the solution: Heal the tank with aggro at the time.

Also, if you are the healing leader in your raids, I hope you are using a mod called Heal Organizer. This mod will give you an interface window with all the healing/dispelling/decursing/abolish poisoning/hybrid classes in your raid. You can then assign them healing duties (or dispelling duties) by dragging them and dropping them into many different customizable sections whose headers you can change. You can then click one button to have it broadcast in the channel of your choice (/ra, /rw, /). You can also save your setups for future use. Another handy option is that you can check a box to have it whisper everyone that has an assignment so that you know your healers specifically got it. And to top it all off, anyone can send you a tell with the word “heal” (/t Birkin heal) and it will automatically send them a reply with their assignment. (Although lots of my DPS buddies think it’s funny to spam my chat during Kara by sending me a tell with “heal” and getting “You are not assigned” messages spammed back… over and over… haha) Oh, I almost forgot that for Heal Organizer, to get the interface menu, you have to type a “/” command. (I’m at work now and can’t look it up) Instead of memorizing this and typing it every time you want to change assignments around, it’s much easier to put that “/” command into a macro and throw it on one of your extra bars so it is just a button click away.

Teazone said in 6 Signs You Masturbate Too Much:

If you want a weight free exercise then consider using your own body weight. Simple exercises like push up, or dips(with your chair) is a simple solution working out your arms. Also as push ups become more easy, you can vary the distances of your arms or prop your legs up on the chair for more of your body weight.

Keep in mind that you need to work out your biceps and triceps equally to have better improvements over all. So alternate your push ups and dips during those long flights to tanaris or something.

Simple weights free leg work outs are lunges, great thing about lunges is that it works out just about all of your leg muscles.

And don’t forget about those epix six-packs thats hidden under that layer of fat! Body planks are a easy way of working out your core muscle groups like your abs oblique and back muscles. Body planks are simply getting on your elbows and holding your body up like in a push up position.

Be careful as to not let your body sag as it might injure you.

To work on the side abs simply rotate your body over while still on either one of your elbows.

To work on your back roll over another time so your belly is upward and both elbows are behind you to prop yourself up. This will strengthen that pesky lower back that always aches when you sit and raid for too long.

Always to remember to stretch out before and after any work out to prevent injuries and know your limits! If you do these simple exercises during downtime i guarantee you’ll see improvements in your body after many weeks of raiding.

That last comment’s really good to know. Recently I’ve been having some lower back issues. I’m almost positive it comes from sitting on my ass too long. During the spring and summer months, I’d go out and play some street hockey. Since it’s winter, that isn’t much of an option. And no, I don’t know how to skate.

Actually that’s not accurate. I don’t know how to stop without the assistance of a wall.

Anyways, something of substance will come up later today after the exam, I hope. But I tell you, there’s something to be said for conquering whole galaxies. That’s also been eating up my precious time as well.

Not… really a nightmare?

Turns out my response to Leiandra’s post garnered a whole slew of responses of my own. I remain vigilantly aware of Blizzard’s upcoming changes to our class. Our class evolution has gone from Grand Master Healer to a support medic on the front lines. That’s all we are really… a support class. Sure we’ve got all of our awesome tools at our disposal. When’s the last time anyone’s really used Holy Nova on a tactically beneficial level? Last time I spammed Holy Nova was against a certain red dragon in Blackwing Lair. But that’s when mana was infinite. Pwyff’s comments were bang on when summarizing the strength of each healing class.

If we truly were the end all and be all of all healers, there would be no need for hybrid healers like Paladins, Shamans, and Druids. All raids would be filled with nothing but Priests. The reason why there is a sort of parity along the healing classes is because Blizzard wanted to make raiding flexible for a large amount of players. If all a raid needed were Priests, then the other healers would sit out and be unused. There had to be some kind of equality so that classes could be kind of interchangeable.

Anyone like problem solving? I love problem solving. Chances are, if you’re playing WoW, you like problem solving. If you think about it, WoW is a big giant puzzle that’s meant to be solved. This is one of the assignments I had for homework in my cognitive science class. So here’s a puzzle for you:

The scenario

Three Human Priests and three Orcs arrive at Menethil Harbor, and they all wish to cross to Kalimdor. Fortunately, there is a boat, but unfortunately, the boat can only hold two creatures at one time. Orcs are vicious creatures, and whenever there are more orcs than Priests on one side of the river, the orcs will immediately attack the Priests and slaughter them. You must be certain that you never leave more orcs than Priests on any side of the maelstrom. How should the problem be solved? The foul orcs can be trusted to bring the boat back safely. There must be one creature in the boat to pilot it. If the Kalimdor shore has an Orc, and there is an inbound Orc and a Priest, the Priest will be ripped to shreds even though they’re on the boat.

Note: Each time you cross the river, it is considered one step.

The problem is solvable with a minimum of 11 steps. I’ll post a solution later. If you solve it, don’t spit out the solution in comments yet, but DO say that you figured it out.