7+2 Healing Haikus – Keep Your Tanks Alive Through the Power of Poetry

I can’t exactly remember what inspired me about a Haiku. I was reading up a little bit about Zen. The original idea was me emailing out various healing bloggers for quick one liners on healing tips and lessons for their class.

But then I decided what the heck? Let’s make them work a little bit. How about we convert that wisdom into some haikus for our readers?

MK of dwarfpriest.com

In vanilla WoW
Priests topped the healing. But now?
Out healed by shaman

Kestrel of Kestrel’s Aerie

A frisbee alights
Like the wind it moves again
Joy–the boss is down.

Zerei of Blood Paladin

If you’re deciding
between this upgrade and that,
balance is the key!

Lady Jess of Lady Jess

Zing tank in the head
Renew steadily ticking
Greater heal not flash

Softi of Softthistle’s Spot

H-O-T’s, gotta love
Em. Lifebloom times three and
Rejuv saves my butt!

My own contribution

Your tank is dying
When renew is not enough
Spam flash heal you must

Leafy of Leafshine

Leafshine stacking heals
Always keeping Rejuv up
Or the tank go splat

Kirk of Priestly Endeavors

**Kirk wrote an excellent masterpiece. I’ll post a snippet here.**

Flashes and tones as candles burn
unacceptable green spreads

Past horses and grooms
Ancient love in need redeemed
Weren’t you on main tank?

Read the rest

A special thanks to the contributors =). Feel free to comment with some of your own!

Edit: Here’s one more that I forgot :(

Siha of Banana Shoulders

For your safety, mage
Do not pull agro again
- BoP is on cooldown.

A Glimpse in the Mind of a Priest

In 10 seconds, anything can go wrong. In upper level raiding, there’s a certain element of micro management that needs to be done. We tried Kael again today and we still could not polish him off. Our best attempt was at 57% in Phase 4. It’s like your trying to get a good solid grip on running water. You can feel it through your fingers but it continues to slip away elusive to your grasp.

Here’s a scenario of a crazy, paranoid, overanalyzing Dwarf Priest in overdrive on a Kael fight during Phase 3:

00:00

Thought process

Tank at full health. Weapon swing coming in half a second. A quick glance at the Heads-up display reveals a Fear happening in 3. Thaladred’s gazing at a Priest adjacent to me and is heading to my direction (Gaze means he’s going to walk towards a player and hit him hard).

Actions

Activate a shield on my healing assignment, and start moving north away from the incoming mob.

00:03

Thought Process

I currently represent half the healing on my tanking assignment as the other Priest is busy evading Thal. Big heals are a must as is the fear ward.

Actions

Fear Ward, Renew, Prayer of Mending.

00:09

Thought Process

Gaze is off my partner and is now on a hunter next to me who just went flying through the air and is sitting at 45%. A quick glance at my assignment with 80% health shows my partner has him targeted with a heal on the way about to land in 0.7 seconds.

Actions

Hunter’s not going to be able to sustain another hit. Target him, Shield, Renew, switch back to healing assignment.

00:14

Thought Process

“FEARED!”

I recognize that voice. It’s my Priest partner. There’s a tremor totem on the ground from the shaman in our group and it pulsed 2 seconds ago. Not enough time. Hunter should be fine and in the clear. I’m going to be on my own for the next several seconds on my assignment.

Actions

Prayer of Mending. Better hope the WoW gods are listening and that it is able to mitigate more damage then the tank is taking. Tank’s health returns up to 60%. Activate Divine Illumination. Additional 25% chance to crit is better than 10%.

00:18

Thought Process

Blue rings shimmer around my assignment. It looks familiar, what the hell does it mean? Too late, I think to myself. It’s a Remote Toy. That equals stun. Stun equals lack of ability to take defensive measures by my healing assignment. Which also means not good. He’s down to 35%. Adrenaline’s already coursing through the system. The coffee I had earlier in the day is all but exhausted. He needs a big time crit heal now.

Actions

Slam max rank Greater Heal now.

00:19

Thought Process

XPerl shows my colleague starting to cast a heal not a moment after I did. Wait a minute…

…He’s casting a Greater Heal, too.
…There’s only 2 of us healing him.
…Which means he has less then 2 seconds to live based on weapon swing timers from the boss…

Action

Do the simplest action to cancel a heal which is move. At the same time, blow a PW: Shield and pray it can withstand a hit. Oh no, Thal’s arm is up, and that means-

00:20

“MAN DOWN”

Thought Process

Oh crap. You failed the team. One simple miscalculation. One wrong heal at the wrong time. Sanguinar is now free and goes forth rampaging the raid.

Game over.

Priests are so easy to play. There are so many options to choose from. It’s easy to scrutinize one’s play in hindsight. But when you’re in the moment, the difference between raid success and failure can hinge on a something so insignificant as using the right heal at the right time.

Over 5 options to choose from and I picked the wrong one. Kael could have died tonight. This is going to haunt me for a long time.

It’s quite possibly one of the worse feelings anyone can experience in the world. It’s not being told what you did wrong by someone else. It’s knowing what you did wrong and knowing that it could have been prevented.

I should have rolled a Hunter.