Know what the Worse Thing in Wrath Is?

Nevermind that Retribution Paladins are overpowered.
… of that class balance is non-existent.
… or that herb prices are off the charts.
… or the mount and pet disappearing bug.
… or messed up UI’s.

There is one major problem that trumps them all. Did you know this issue has been prevalent since the era of Molten Core? It wasn’t an issue then, sure. But it always represented a thorn on the side of raiding Guilds everywhere.

In Burning Crusade, Blizzard has proven yet again they glaze over severe problems. They addressed many mistakes since Vanilla WoW and showed some savvy in raid design in Burning Crusade.

When I went into Wrath with the intent of beta raiding, I prayed long and hard that this monstrous issue would be fixed. To my utter dismay, I have discovered they have not. Do you realize what this means? This could potentially kill Guilds everywhere before they even get off the ground!

The colossal problem that I’m referring to?

It is the looting of chests.

In Molten Core, it wasn’t a problem as raid leaders could master loot items.

In Karazhan, there were only 10 players to worry about with everyone wanted badges.

But in Naxxramas, the 4 Horsemen drop a chest. With Badges (or Emblems). They’re lootable by everyone. That’s 25 players who want badges. 25 players that will be spam clicking the chest.

This is a serious problem.

25 players each taking 10 seconds to loot a chest.

That’s almost 4 minutes of pure chest looting.

Which means it’s 4 less minutes to save the world.

Something must be done!

Image credits: coolza

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7 Cliche’d Ideas to Jump Start Your WoW Related NaNoWriMo

For those of you that might not be aware, November is National Novel Writing Month. So what exactly is it?

According to Wikipedia:

National Novel Writing Month (also known as NaNoWriMo) is a creative writing project in which participants attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in one month.

Unfortunately, I cannot participate this year. School, WoW, and blogging keep me fairly busy. If I were to tackle another project, I know I’d probably get yelled at by a few of my friends.

That doesn’t mean I can’t help participate in my own way, however. In my off time when I’m not thinking about blog posts to write, I think about stories I’d like to tell (Yeah. I know. I can’t find an off button).

So here’s a few ideas Anna inspired and ones that I came up with the other day.

Important leaders kidnapped

A summit meeting has been planned by all major faction leaders. They have all agreed to use Shattrath as the meeting point. The war against Illidan has taken its toll. Neither faction can unseat him without the help of the other. Suddenly, a leader from the opposing faction has been intercepted and kidnapped en route which has sent talks to a virtual stand still. Not only that, but a bomb plot has been discovered. Explosive Mana bombs have been planted in various capital cities in Azeroth. You have to uncover the plot and rescue the captured dignitary (Inspired by 24).

Special teams working together

You are the leader of task force Echo, one of your faction’s special forces units. Your unit was important in the take down of Kael who subsequently disappeared. New intelligence from SI:7 (or the Horde equivalent) has reported that Kael is still alive. Your team has been asked to lead the charge in establishing a beach head on Quel’Danas. The catch? You’ll be working with the opposite faction. Can both teams work together and overcome their differences? (Rainbow Six)

Framed for murder

Several officials arrive at your residence, serve a warrant and proceed to arrest you. Taken to court, you discover that you have been framed for a murder you did not commit. You suspect that one of your rivals are behind this but you don’t know which. You must escape from the Stockades and find out the truth to clear your name.

Doomsday scenario

When you get to Illidan and you look up, you can sort of see Azeroth. It looks rather large, doesn’t it? And it’s getting closer. Gnomish and Goblin scientists have independently verified that Outland is about to intercept Azeroth’s orbit. Time is running out. You have to find a way to save both Azeroth and Outland from destruction before the world’s collide (literally). (Armageddon)

Unstoppable monster

A sentient Ooze-ling from Wetlands has been gaining strength and momentum from devouring other Oozes and creatures. After traveling through the zone and absorbing (eating) just about everything in its path, it has set its sights on the closest township. It’s a race against time as you and your friends must come up with a way to stop Oozezilla from wiping Menethil Harbor off the map. (Random monster movie)

Vengeful hero

All your life, you have been nothing more than a simple farmer. You dreamed of a life of glory and adventure but the love you had for your family has prevented you from pursuing this opportunity. You return home one day from business in the city to find your home destroyed. Your wife and child have been mutilated and murdered. With nothing more than a pitch fork, you swear vengeance intending to bring these brigands to justice.

Forgotten evil

An expedition has been commissioned by your faction to explore the Maelstrom closely. You are a retired veteran who has been chosen to lead your team and explore it. A ship is being built combining the brute strength of Goblins and the ingenuity of Gnomes. A crew needs to be assembled to venture into swirling unknown. When you arrive, you discover that a great and terrible evil has been awakened. With no hope of backup and reinforcements, its up to you and your crew to contain and banish the threat back where it came from.

Good luck to everyone who is participating this year! I know there are a number of WoW bloggers that are involved (Ego, Bre, and Ratshag at least, though I’m sure there are more).

Do you plan on taking part this year? Have you gotten your story ready?

Post Your Haircuts!

Old Matticus on the left, new (old-er) Matticus on the right!

I can easily explain the hair and color change. The buzzcut is a result of dodging Fireballs and various Shadowbolts. The color is from the age and stress that comes from the weary campaigns against Kael, Vashj, and Illidan’s forces. Mallet is older. Much older. The new look helps reflect that. The beard is longer from the lack of contact with civilization. Hasn’t had time to properly get a beard cut (trim).

What about you? Let’s see your haircuts!

* Syd, Wyn, feel free to edit this post if you like to include yours along with descriptions.

Bank of Matticus Goes Public

Due to requests from certain Hunter bloggers, the Bank of Matticus Financial Group has decided to go public. As part of the public disclosure process, CEO Matticus Moneycus has decided to reveal various assets that the public needs to know if they wish to invest in this banking powerhouse. Matticus leads a syndicate of prominent WoW Investors who have entrusted him with their finances and assets.

Hydroponics

This is but a fraction of the hydroponics sector of the Bank of Matticus. Herb specialists continue to acquire species of plants around the clock to invest in Inscription the moment it becomes available.

Consumables

In a bid to stream line workers, over 1000 Gnomes were released with severance pay with the option to rehire within the next year. Simply put, there is too much supply of consumables and not enough demand for them.

Ore

Efforts to equip the soon-to-arrive Death Knights are well under way. They’ve agreed to become Smithies in order to augment themselves. Here is a fraction of some of the Ore and Stone that’s been gradually accumulated.

Supplementary

The supplementary portion of the bank has largely been liquidated or is still in the process of being liquidated. Epic gems have largely been sold as well as a significant number of normal gems. Food consumables still remain as do other high performance consumables.

You’ll notice the gold count looks unimpressive. There’s a good reason for that. Bank of Matticus finances are spread out through a network of Dwarven and Goblin banks. In the event of a security breach, it will not result in the complete loss and destruction of BMF. Rest assured, hard currency sits at the 5 digit level. But that information cannot be disclosed here for the time being. It’s a result of Enchanting mats and numerous amounts of cloth being liquidated. The fifth bank tab has been hidden as it contains sensitive items and materials. Negotiations are currently underway Ironforge International Bank of Commerce for rights and access to a 6th tab. This is expected to happen within a year as assets continue to accumulate.

Red Rover, Red Rover…

…We call that Shaman over.

Although seriously, who would win in a fight? A Kodo? Or a Bear? The Twitterati give the decision to the War Bears 4 – 2. Now the bears have the two horns (tusks?) on the side that would impale a Kodo from the side for sure. However, the Kodo has a large horn of its own. It would be a matter of who is able to outmaneuver the other first, I’d imagine.

@behemothdan War bear for sure. The kodo may have size but no offense that the bear can’t handle.

@Medros war bear

@fernashes war bear all the way.

@ipwn kodos are toougher. war beas are meaner. bears, but it’d be close

@Onawar brewfest kodo would win!

@Knurd Kodo. It’s more rare.

20 + 3 Myths about Women Who Play WoW

 

So Matt and I were goofing off one day, and in one of those conversations where you’re not quite sure how it got onto that topic… we started talking about some of the myths around being a female gamer. Like all stereotypes, some have a base in reality, some are pretty funny, and some nag at my feminist sensibilities. Here’s 20 myths about female WoW-ers that I’ve encountered:  

• We don’t exist
• We’re super-hot asian women
• We’re all crushingly obese in real life
• We can’t Tank
• We can’t Melee
• We can’t PvP
• Actually, we can’t play
• We must want to be your girlfriend (or cyber you)
• We’re sleeping with our Guild leader/Raid leader and that’s why we get raid invites/gear
• We only play healing classes
• We cause 100% of all guild/server drama
• We get given gold, mats, and items for free
• or, if not for free, in exchange for non-monetary favors
• All female ‘toons are really guys trying to cash in on the above myths (especially Elves)
• We don’t play Horde
• We’re only playing to spend time with our boyfriend/husband
• We care more about how gear looks than its stats
• We only tame cuddly, cute pets
• We don’t theorycraft (’cuz math is HARD!)
• We all hate each other
• Female GMs are all married to a co-GM and not really leading the guild
• We fly into hysterics if given negative feedback
• We aren’t allowed to raid when we’re on our period

Image credits: Sacredart

Thanks Auz & Joveta!!

12 Reasons Why Priests Don’t Make the Best Lovers

Hear-ye, hear-ye, ye backstabin buccaneers!

As me learn-ed scurvy dog colleagues o’er the past few days have discussed about ye class lovers, I have discovered one thing. Ye think Priests make the finest landlubbin’ lovers, do yeh? Well ye be wrong on that count and let me tell ye why! Priests are the exact reasons why thar exists women scorned by which fury hell hath no! Nay, we be nothin’ more than gentlemen o’ fortune so ter speak.

Ye got yer Warlocks! Then ye got yer Captains! And yer goody two shoes Pal-eh-din! A lot of mateys believe that Duh-ruids are tha bettar ones in bed! And of course, Rogues do it from behind (because they’re not smart enough to do it from other positions, harrrrr har har!). Cannae’ forget our tentically hoofed buccanneers!

But here’s why hookin’ up with a Priest be like findin’ fool’s gold!

Fortitude only lasts 60 minutes

Aye, we be full of stamina and strength but fer how long? We can only go 60 minutes before we become tired out ye know!

Staves, Maces, and Daggers

We not exactly be the most skilled with our weapons. Ye never see a Priest with maxed out weapon skills! Ye think we’re any better in unarmed… combat?!

Constant drinking

There be only so much energy a Priest has before they need to batten down the hatches and drink. I find it nigh impossible that a lass would be able ter wait tha’ long fer us to recover (and plunder her booty)!

Squishy

Harrrr! Our inability to withstand pain means activities be limited! Our robes can only handle so much punishment from a cat o’ nine tails! Unless we take ‘em off…

Limited shields

Yarrrr, ye realize our shields can not withstand lovin’ power of that maggggnitude before they buckle under pressure! Oh sure they can protect ye, but for how long? And what will ye do when that bubble be breached?

Never satisfied with just one

We be busy scannin’ all the time for potential targets! We cannae always commit to one, ye know! It be too difficult for Priests to be monogamous!

Too pure

Can we consciously betray our teachings of the light? No! Thar be no such thing as a promiscuous Priest! Not ter mention, I cannae dream of a scurvy cur who’d want ter shack up with the dirty Shadowy ones! Only a wench would!

Too much Discipline

Discipline. Priests have too much of it! Even one point invested be far too much for the ordinary lass! We shan’t betray our cause or our purpose which means we not tha’ righ’ choice!

Too poor

Priests are the most lily-livered class you’ll encounter, me hearty! We don’t have the doubloons to afford even the most scallywag of Warlock wenches!

So ye see lad, while you may think that Priests make great lovers, ye best be takin’ your reasons to Davey Jones locker!

Yarrrrr!

Why Druids are the Best (and Worst) Lovers

I’ve decided to take up Matticus’s challenge from yesterday and put in my own personal bid for which class makes the best lovers.

If variety is the spice of YOUR life, then you simply must find yourself a druidic lover today. While I’m sure warlocks, and mages, and priests, can light your fire too, nothing beats a druid for sheer, er, flexibility. However, when things go wrong with your druid lover, they go very wrong. Join me for a look at the the pros and cons of a little walk on the wild side.

5 reasons to take a lonely tree home with you:

1. You’ll never be bored.

We can tank, dps, and heal, sometimes all at once! You want it, we’ve got it. Let a druid draw you in with her Entangling Roots. By the time she gets to Flourish, you’ll be hooked for good.

2. Druids are champion cuddlers.

We may look ferocious (not hard to accomplish while we’re tanking things with our face), but deep down inside, every druid is a fuzzy, snuggly kitten. Especially recommended for frosty mornings and rainy afternoons by a roaring fire.

3. We’re animals in the bedroom.

No really, we are. Let your imagination run wild.

4. Druids are very grounded.

Our roots go deep, and we like to stay where we’re planted. We don’t like to show off either. Even if we have fancy cars and flashy clothes, we’re the same old bear we’ve always been since level 10. That means we’re the ideal candidate for dinners with Mom & Pop or a night out with your buddies.

5. We don’t cause drama.

Animals are a lot less complicated than people, and plants even less so. Your druid lover gets a measure of inner peace from spending so much time in one of his simpler forms, and that serenity will make your relationship much less conflict-ridden.

5 reasons to leave that bear at the zoo where he belongs:

1. A leopard can’t change his spots, and a cheetah is always a cheetah.

Blame it on our bestial natures, but it’s hard for us to shake our natural instincts. If your druid lover has been up to any naughty tricks in the past, you’ll have to keep him on a short leash.

2. Druish grooming habits differ greatly from those of the human population.

Yes, we think that lichen growing on our boughs is attractive. Little bird’s nest by my left ear? That’s an accessory. And don’t even get me started on the bears. What do you THINK they roll around in when no one’s looking? If you don’t enjoy that musky, woodsy fragrance, I’d suggest a druid who specializes in melee dps. After all, kitties at least attempt to give themselves a daily bath.

3. We’ll never be your perfect match.

Druids are hybrids, but if you’re a rogue looking for a melee dps soulmate, or a warlock looking for a partner-in-corruption, we’ll never quite cut the mustard. If you are too much of a purist, you won’t get along with a druid.

4. All druids are shifty by nature.

If we’ve done something bad, you’ll never find us. If we’ve done something really bad, we’ll probably blame it on you and cower invisibly in your closet.

5. And finally, we’re too idealistic.

One of these days, the Emerald Dream will beckon your druid lover, and he or she will be afk until further notice. There’s a reason that most mystics stay single. If you do date a druid, you’ll have to help her keep her paws firmly in the here-and-now.

As for me, well, my dance card is full. Turns out that a tree’s perfect match is a warrior–heh, maybe the low intellect lets him overlook those scratchy branches.

One Thoughters from Matt and is Your Class the Best Lover?

I used to do these. Wyn does them. Then Auz started it.

• When did cookies become a sometimes food?
• Raiders who raid often don’t want to. Raiders who don’t raid often, want to.
• My coblogger gets more fame and recognition than I do.
• Hey Auz, click here
• How do wands work? Is there a button? Maybe a stun and kill setting?
• Do Blizzard developers read WoW blogs?
• What would a 10 man counter terrorism unit in WoW consist of?
• I always finish the milk before the cookie. Ugh.
• Mallet has 19 Exalted reputations. Too lazy to level Sporregar.
• Jessica Alba’s 27. I need to find me a new poster girl.

So is your class the best lover?

Here’s the back story. Last Monday, I had watched something completely unexpected unfold before my eyes. Girl in front of me, on her Warlock, playing WoW. Saresa was fuming because I mentioned that Warlocks aren’t my type.

Big mistake.

She uses my own trademark list posts against me (score!) and provides 12 Reasons Why Warlocks are the Best Lovers.

So this begs the question.

Why is your class the best lover? Any amount, any reason. Feel free to comment it or (even better) blog about it. I think the Warlocks are covered. But maybe there’s a few extra features I don’t know about!

On another note, check back in about 5ish hours. That Sydera, I tell you, is one really ambitious blogger and when you see what she plans to open up with. All I can say is wow.